Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
