nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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