My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
