I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
