I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
