But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
