ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
