I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
