i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wear drunk well.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
