There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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