I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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