My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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