I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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