I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
