I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
