I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Boobs speak an international language.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
