he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
