if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize