There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
