Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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