batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
