I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
