he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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