I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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