Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
