You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
