is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
