but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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