He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
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"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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