Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
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Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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