Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I am naked and annoyed.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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