Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
