i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
