smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
