they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
