the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
