Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
