We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
