did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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