she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
