Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
