dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
pray to the hookup gods
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
