we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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