just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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