Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
