So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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