You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
