ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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