I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
