i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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