Pants 0. Shit 1.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
