I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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