Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I need to calm my uterus...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
