I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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