He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
