accomplished twins. life is a go
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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