You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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