you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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