I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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