I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
