Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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