Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
