dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
