Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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