hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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