So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
