6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
