alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
