I look better un-naked...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
