Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
